Hollywood's Satanic Agenda (3): Semi-Pro

Here's another comedy starring Will Ferrell, whose name is phonetically linked to the word "feral", meaning wild and menacing. Apropos. Anyway, Like Talladega Nights, this one is hardly an innocent comedy; rather, it is clearly Gnostic/Luciferian propaganda literally festooned with homoerotic references.

Semi-Pro also has a Tantric sex-magic performance ritual aspect to it. Tantra is a form of worship in which divine energy is harnessed and directed into the physical realm. During the film, the viewer is subliminally brought into this ritual and unconsciously conditioned in preparation for the New Age.


Will Ferrell plays Jackie Moon, number 33. He has a gender-neutral name, a connection to a celestial body, and the number of the 33rd degree Grand Master.

His team is The Tropics, even though they are located in Flint, Michigan. Their symbol is the palm tree, one of the sacred trees in Egyptian mythology, and a symbol of good luck in Bavarian superstition. Later in the film we see Jackie promoting a fake sponsor Busch Bavarian, a name he repeats emphatically (there is also a flag hanging in the gym showing the number '76).

Also in the above photo we notice that the team players together form a grove. Throughout the Old Testament we read where tree groves and altars to false gods were built and destroyed.

Judges 6:25,
"...and throw down the altar of Baal that thy father hath, and cut down the grove that is by it:"

Being that Semi-Pro is an overtly sexual film, the grove here is one surrounding a phallic idol. Jackie Moon, a christos archetype figure in the Theosophical sense, is the leader of a Gnostic phallus sect, leading his people in the new aeon.


Jackie is also the team's owner and promoter. Here we see him wearing a cape, the pattern of which is very similar to the colored dots pattern of his Wonder-sponsored race car in the Talladega Nights film.


The commentators for The Tropics also have phallic names: Lou Redwood and Dick Pepperfield. As the players are announced they continuously make sexual references.


The referee is a priest, Father Pat--another gender-neutral name. Of course, Father Pat is here to remind us of the "tyranny of religion." He is the official, the one who enforces the rules on the court--the arena where men's actions are judged. Jackie gym is called the Flint Fairgrounds Coliseum.

As one would expect, Father Pat is a foil in the film. The first words we hear from Father Pat are, "F*** you, Jackie."


After the game we see Jackie arrive at a club, The Kremlin. This is one of several references to the communitarian/collectivist regime of the New Age. At the club, Jackie tells his players that there is a possible merger between the ABA and the NBA.

This merger is interesting as "aba" is Hebrew for father. The end of the ABA is the end of the "old age," the end of the father.

The NBA represents the consolidating authority of this New Age, utopia. The NBA is where Jackie and his players dream of going someday.


The commissioner tells the team owners that only four teams will be merging with the NBA. The other teams will dissolve, or as he explains, "financially cease to exist." This is indicative of the notion that not everyone will enter the New Age--exactly what the Gnostics taught: only those who were intellectually sophisticated enough to comprehend the Mysteries would attain salvation.


Jackie throws a fit. It is then decided among the owners that the decision as to who will merge with the NBA should be "performance based." The top four teams will merge, and as the commissioner says, they are playing for a "birth" in the NBA.


To increase their chances of success, Jackie brings in an old player whom no one likes (Woody Harrelson). As the players begin to argue, Jackie reminds them of the team's one rule: ELE. Everybody love everybody.

This is an allusion to Aleister Crowley's sex magick: the second precept of Thelema is "Love is the law, love under will."


At the card game scene we see behind Jackie a humanist trinity, another touch to reify his divinity-in-the-making.


In another shot, the christos interacts with the trinity more closely.


A problem arises when one of the players calls Lou Redwood a "jive turkey." These words make Lou very upset; jive turkey is "over the line." The others try to calm him down by saying Lou heard wrong, "he called you a c***sucker."

Here c***sucker is okay, but jive turkey is over the line. This is keeping with the phallic cult theme being presented.


Here wee see a graphic representation of the basketball court. The duelling phalli, each in competition to fertilize the egg. The winner gets the girl, so to speak.


Here the Gnostic phallic sect practices for the half-time show. The team has decided that Monix (Woody H.) would be a better coach and give the team a better shot at the "birth." Monix has already been to utopia (he played for the Celtics) and knows what it takes to get their--the X's and O's. Monix is the facilitator, the bringer of gnosis. An ascended master.


We see the team wearing sea-horse and flamingo costumes in an abstract representation of the Age of Aquarius--which Jackie calls "the future of basketball." But if the team is going to make it, then they need a better coach. Monix takes over.


He makes them run drills until they puke. This is a purging, or purification process known as katharsis; it is the first stage of the initiatory process. Monix tells them he wants them to be "braindead."


Jackie has never puked before, so he needs a punch in the jejunum. The jejunum is a part of the small intestine, as Monix explains. But what he doesn't tell us is that the jejunum got its name because it is found empty after death. Ergo, this scene represents the death of the old self, and subsequent rebirth. Rebirth rituals are of course common in occult practices.


Jackie's calendar photo holding a hammer. This is significant as part of the communitarian/collectivism motif. The Age of Aquarius is the aeon of Saturn; ruled by the Saturnian Demiurge. The symbol of Saturn is the sickle, so the hammer and sickle are an important pair in the theme.


In another bizarre shot. Monix is caught having sex with his ex-girlfriend. She is now married to Kyle, pictured. When he catches them he doesn't flip out as one would expect; instead he sits down and starts pleasuring himself.

When his wife sees him, she jumps up. Monix covers his groin area with a picture of Kyle's face.

This scene represents the voyeur's (the viewer) unconscious being captivated and brought into the sex ritual forcefully and unknowingly.


The next day, Jackie wrestles a bear in a promotion stunt. The trainer makes an unusual observation: "We're both wearing red." Yet another reference to the Kremlin/Red square. Being that this is a "promotion" stunt, we need not wonder what is actually being promoted.

The trainer tells Jackie that he needs a "safe word" to use in case he is in danger. "Safe words" are commonly used in bondage, S&M practices. The trainer, holding a whip, gives him the word "spumoni," an Italian ice-cream dessert. Ice cream has a positive connotation: summer time, fun, good behavior, birthdays, etc.

This scene is a cognitive dissonance programming point: where two opposing views are synthesized. Here when one is confronted with the danger of the bondage of communism the safe word is to be invoked: a cool treat during good times.


After Jackie gets word that his team will not be merging with the NBA, we see him in a trash can/coffin. But Monix convinces him to play the last game anyway. Before Monix helps him out of the dumpster, we see Jackie eating an old pancake; this is symbolic of a communion wafer. The second stage of initiation: communion.


Jackie holds a press conference. He announces the final game, to be played on Saturday night (Saturn's day) will be remembered in the "anals" of history. As he mispronounces the word annals, we see his assistant stroking a cannon behind him.


During the final game, the Mega Bowl, Jackie is knocked unconscious.


He enters the spirit world and sees his mother. This is a scene depicting Gnostic divine revelation. His mother gives him the secret knowledge to win the game. A new move called the "ally oop."

Father Pat, the tyrannical fundamentalist referee does not allow the ally oop at first. He (religion) is depicted as trying to prevent change, man's progress. But they argue and he soon changes his mind.


With the ally oop, the Tropics win the Mega Bowl. Jackie is offered a job as promoter in the NBA. He makes it into the New Age. The third stage of initiation: salvation.

It is also interesting to note that both Jackie and Monix are self-admitting phonies: Jackie stole the song that made him famous, and Monix spend most of his NBA career on the bench. It is as though it is being admitted that this New Age ideology is crap, but you just can't see it.

The final words of the film: "Everybody panic!"

So here again we see Will Ferrell, et al, offering the thin veneer of a silly comedy--albeit gratuitously raunchy--occluding a much more sinister ideology. On can be sure that there is probable a lot more going on in here, especially with the numbers, but we're done with it. Consider this one exposed.